One foot in, one foot out

Yesterday morning I got irritated by my inability to express myself quickly and clearly in Spanish.  Of course, I speak Spanish.  But it’s not my mother tongue and never shall it be.  I find myself describing things instead of naming them, for want of specific vocabulary.  Yesterday, for example, I spent a couple of hours searching for our accounts book.  I suddenly realised where I had put it – in the front of the the hanging file box.  so I say to my guy “Hey, it’s in the blah bla bla” in spanish, not using the specific word “archivador” beacause, of course, I didn’t know that word. And he looks at me blankly… so I try again….”You know the blah blah blah”, but I get the colour wrong, saying black when it’s actually blue, and he gets even more confused thinking it’s the antique black strong box that we have in the living room and I just think “ARGH!  If only I could speak in English!”  Because, of course using the specific word “hanging file” or “strong box” immediately differentiates between the two, regardless of the colour.  Sigh.  Deep breath.  It’s not a situation that’s going to change soon, and the only way to remedy it is to continually improve my spanish.

It made me think that really, I live with one foot in either world – the anglophone and hispanic worlds.  I read online news and blog mostly in English, my clients are a mix of English and Spanish speakers, I read Spanish newspapers and hang out with Spanish speakers…but in my heart and in my head I will never lose my mother tongue.  English is the language in which I dream.

Right now, I have either foot in separate worlds when it comes to raw eating.  I am still eating high-raw, but not yet near 100%.  I have decided to buy the necessary equipment – juicer, blender, dehydrator – and cannot wait for them to be delivered!  Really, my little blender has done its job well but is no Blendtec or Vitamix.  When is a orange juice, banana and strawberry smoothie not a smoothie?  When it’s made in a 6-year-old food processor!  Check out that lovely texture!

Not very smoothie

Anyway, it tasted lovely!  So yeah, until I fully invest – both monetarily and mentally – in raw food, I cannot expect to achieve full success.  With one foot in either world, I shall inevitably get out of sync.  Watch this space…it’s in the works.  I’ll let you know when my feet have lined themselves up.